Our North Star
by Lady Alyssia Lassaria
Summary: 'She was lost to the feeling he was lavishing on her, the fire that had burnt so slowly in her heart before was now setting her on fire and she didn't care.' How I interpreted *that* scene :D


**Our North Star**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Castle. _If I did, I wouldn't be this emotionally wrecked…or maybe I will…

**A/N:** YAY~ I'm writing again :D o^.^o…And it's a post-'Always' story, too~ Well…it depends. One-shot for now and see where we go from there :D This is un-beta-ed, the baby of watching _that _scene over and over again. This is just how I interpreted their actions.

* * *

"There is a universal truth we all have to face, whether we want to or not: everything eventually ends. As much as I looked forward to this day, I've always disliked endings. Last day of summer, the final chapter of a great book, parting ways with a close friend. But endings are inevitable. Leaves fall, we close the book, you say goodbye. Today is one those days for us. Today we say goodbye to everything that was familiar, everything that was comfortable. We're moving on. But just because we're leaving and that hurts, there are some people who are so much a part of us; they'll be with us no matter what. They are our solid ground, our North Star, and the small clear voices in our hearts that will be with us. _**Always**_." – Alexis' graduation speech

* * *

Kate Beckett was not a person who did things on a whim. She was not a person who would go out into the rain and think. She was not a person who sat on the swing set she sat on all those months before, just to unravel what she wanted.

But, here she was. Doing just that.

The rain soaked every item of clothing she wore.

But, she didn't care.

She didn't care about that she could potentially get a cold. She didn't care about the fact she resigned from the one thing that had kept her going ever since her mother's death. She didn't care about the fact there were probably people out to kill her.

Because, right now, all she cared about was the fact that her mind just spun and spun with ideas, with feelings long since repressed and ignored. With dreams long since hidden. Dreams of happiness. Dreams of her future…dreams of _their_ future.

As she stared at the empty swing beside her, the one that _he_ had sat in while she unpacked her thoughts after her shooting, the thoughts in her head slowed down, erasing all that excess fear and doubt, leaving her with the one thought she had always hidden.

She loved him. She was _in love_ with him. She had always loved him. She _wanted_ him.

That moment on the roof, the moment she almost died, made her realise that nothing in her life was as important to her than him. That nothing in her life was worth the pain she had caused him, that she put on herself. _Nothing_.

With her mind clear, she stood up, confident and yet, hesitant.

* * *

As she made her way down to his loft, her mind was spinning of things she would say, of things she would do.  
Her rain-soaked look garnered her an eyebrow raise from the doorman of the building. But, he was too polite to say a word and she was unconcerned with what everyone else thought of her right now. All that mattered to her, right now, _always_, was him.

As she walked, she tried to call his cell phone.

Once. Twice. Three times...

_Your call is unavailable right now. Please check the number and try again._

She felt a mixture of annoyance, sadness and mirth. Annoyance because he was being a jackass again. Sadness because he had deliberately ignored her call (she knew there was no chance he had turned his phone off) and mirth because she knew that if she was in his shoes, she would have done the exact same thing.

As she reached his door, she took a deep breath in. She had come here and no matter what he did, no matter what he said, she would take it.

She knocked sharply 4 times.

When he opened the door, her breath caught. All that rehearsing in her mind ran away. All those words disappeared. All she could see was him.

Her heart broke as she watched the corners of his eyes go from bright and alert to dark and angry. He was angry at her. She wouldn't, _couldn't_, blame him for that. She knew that she had broken his heart when she pulled away from to make the stupidest decision she had ever made.

"Beckett, what do you want?" His voice was sharp, angry.

"_You_."

Without a second thought, she quickly strode inside and grasped his face, her lips fusing to his to try and let him know everything she was feeling, every inch of how this killed her.

She knew he wasn't responding, her heart sinking at the realisation, so she drew away slightly, listening to his deep, uneven breaths, her hands falling to grip his shoulders lightly. The tip of his nose nudged the bridge of hers as she bent her head slightly and closed her eyes to release the tears she had held back.

"I'm so sorry, _Castle_. I'm so _sorry_," She whispered, rubbing his nose with hers, "I'm _so_ sorry…"

Her hands returned to grip his face as she kissed him once more.

But, this time, he wrenched free from her kiss, his hands gripping her arms. The look on her eyes was startled. He stared at her, the tears she had released freely flowing down her cheeks, her eyes so open and hazel. She wasn't hiding anymore.

He looked away briefly, gathering his own thoughts.

"What happened?"

Her head bent down once more as she thought back to the day's events before looking back up.

"He got away and I didn't care," She spoke evenly, a brief smile on her lips as she searched his eyes, "I almost died and all I could think about was you. I just want _you_."

Again, she leaned forward to capture his lips, her mouth open. But, this time, he didn't react, the hesitancy clear in his body language, his eyes.

Their noses caressed in the same way, she pleaded, they would caress each other.

That moment of hesitation almost killed her. The look of confusion and shock almost made her want to cry more than she was already. But, it was his turn to lead now. This was no longer just about what she wanted. It's what _they_ wanted. If he wanted to think, she would take a step back.

When she caressed the corner of his lip, it was like a switch had been thrown in him.

He threw her back into the door, slamming it shut as he enveloped her lips, crushing his body to hers, gripping the side of her face like he would never let go.

Every emotion she had came to the fore as he engulfed her, as they engulfed each other. Even emotions she thought she didn't have or had hidden. Nothing mattered to her. Not anymore. Not when he kissed her like she was going to disappear.

He kissed every inch of skin he could find. Her lips, her neck, her cheek, her chest.

She was lost to the feeling he was lavishing on her, the fire that had burnt so slowly in her heart before was now setting her on fire and _she didn't care_. Her hands were gripping him ever close to her, not wanting to let even the tiniest sliver of anything come between them. Not anymore.

As he unbuttoned her shirt, his movements slowed.

Her breath hitched when she realized that he was staring at her bullet wound. The intimate way he caressed it calmed her as she captured his lips once more. That wound meant more to her now that he had seen it, that he had felt it. It wasn't a symbol of her weakness anymore. No. Now that he had lightly traced its outline, it was the symbol of how far she had come and far she had to go. It would never fully disappear and neither would her fears. But it would heal with time and his love. _Their_ love.

She caressed the hand that was caressing her wound before she moved to caress his face, all the while as they kissed.

Together, bottom lip, top lip.

Her smile was magic. That was a thought that he never kept secret. Every time she saw the coffee and then him, a thrill raced through him and he smiled in response. But, always, something was hidden. She guarded something from him. Now…there was nothing hidden in her smile, in her eyes. He could see _everything_ and that scared him more than anything. Every. Single. Wall was down. And that made him love her even more.

Her hand hesitantly made its way down to gently touch his, begging for a reaction. Her heart skipped once, twice, as he gently wrapped his hand around hers. That action spoke volumes to her. It told her that he would protect her like he protected her hand. _Always_.

Her eyes focused on him as she started to move towards the rest of the house, her leading, him following, and her bottom lip firmly tucked under her teeth. She didn't know what would happen once they lost that haze. But there was one thing she was certain of: he was going to love her. _Always._

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**A/N:** YAY~ After 2 days of writing and watching that 2nd last scene over and over, this baby is _done~!_  
I intended for this to be a one shot but…I had this last bit that tells me that this baby is going to bite me _hard_ later…

Her eyes. Every time he had the opportunity to gaze at them, they would change colour. Green-brown for normal days, chocolate for excitement, hazel for content and now, green for satisfaction. _Great_ satisfaction if the hazel-emerald was telling him anything right now.

You can take it…or pester me for a second chapter~ :P


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